The Ultimate Guide to Writing Your Own Elopement Vows
If you’ve decided to ditch the traditional wedding vows to sum up your love, dreams, and promises to your soon-to-be spouse in a few short minutes, knowing exactly what to say can feel like a big challenge. If you’re up for the task, committed to personal vows, these helpful tips and tricks will make sure you totally nail it on the big day.
If you haven’t decided to do personal vows yet, start here and see if we can convince you.
Vow Book, Samson Photography
Wedding Vow Tips
1. Find Examples and Inspiration
You can find your inspo anywhere, both real and fictional. Consult with your friends who made you shed a tear at their wedding, scour the internet for vows that move you, read poems and listen to love songs. You’re bound to find your inspiration
2. Set the Tone and Format With Your Partner.
Talk to your partner beforehand to see if you’re on the same page or sprinkling your own flavour on things. Are you both going serious and sentimental, or are you jazzing it up with jokes? Perhaps you want to each sprinkle your own flavour on things and do it different. Bonus: Find a trusted friend and both of your read your vows to that friends … confirming timing/length of your vows is similar and that they compliment one another to your satisfaction.
3. Share Stories and Spare the Embarrassment.
There’s a fine line when it comes to being funny and making jokes that distract or diminish from heartfelt promises to the love of your life. Your vows should feel uplifting, and remember your family and friends are listening. It’s ok to use humour but avoid anything negative that could make your partner feel sensitive or embarrassed.
4. Practice out loud.
If you’re planning to elope, your guest list is likely scaled back, but you should still prepare like you would for any public speaking event. Take some time to say your vows aloud before tying the knot, while your nerves will likely be running high on the big day, practicing beforehand is a great way to avoid slip-ups.
5. Start Writing your Elopement Vows Early.
If you’re the type of person who finds inspiration when they procrastinate, this one isn’t for you. A good rule of thumb is to have your vows written three weeks before the ceremony. Trust us; you’ll be thankful when those wedding-day jitters kick in.
Wedding Vow Template
While exchanging traditional or religious wedding vows are usually very structured, you don’t have to be quite so strict when writing your own. Consider this your step-by-step roadmap to writing vows that are as memorable as they are meaningful.
1. Say it loud and proud. This seems like a no-brainer, but many couples leave those three little words, “I love you,” out of their vows. Now is the time to get a little sappy and publicly gush about your partner.
2. Paint a picture of the future. Your partner knows you love them now; get up there and talk about what your lives will look like together as a married couple. Tell them all about the life you can’t wait to build with them by your side.
3. Share stories. Without including too many private jokes, it’s interesting for your friends and family to hear about the lighter side of personal moments. Picking one or two stories or a pet name to share something personal in your vows.
4. Make promises. Vows aren’t just cute anecdotes. They’re real and serious commitments you’re making. As you’re writing vows, think about all the great heights you wish to aspire to with your partner, but also the everlasting love that will hold you together through the hard times.
5. Acknowledge and connect with your guests. You don’t just need your friends and family to celebrate your wedding; you need them for the duration of your relationship. Mentioning the support you’ll need from your guests when times get tough is a great way to build connections and conclude your vows.
FAQ
How long should wedding vows be?
While it can be easy to go on and on about all the reasons you love your partner, however a lengthy monologue should be saved for a wedding card. Most folks aim to keep their spoken vows short and sweet, between 2-3 minutes.
*tip: Time yourself saying your vows aloud, this way you can practice your delivery and know exactly how long it’ll take you.
Where should I write my wedding vows?
Once you’ve nailed your final draft, you’ll want to transcribe your vows into a vow book. This is a great keepsake to read from on the wedding day instead of a sheet of paper or a cell phone. Hot tip: consider handwriting your vows in your notebook. It’s likely you’ll remember them more clearly, and it adds to the personal touch.
Will personal vows make our ceremony too long?
Agree with your partner ahead of time about a goal or length of time you’d like your ceremony to last and factor your vows into that math. An elopement without personal vows could be over in as quick as 5-7 minutes, but ceremonies with personal vows average 12-15 minutes.
Kickstart your Vows by Answering These Questions
Why is he or she the love of your life?
How can you be the best wife or husband to him or her?
What can you promise them?
How can you lift them up when they are feeling down?
Why does he or she make you laugh?
How did you feel the first time you met him or her?
How did you feel the moment you proposed or were proposed to?
How do you complement each other?
Why can’t you live without him or her?
Why did you choose him or her?
What do you love him more than?
What does marriage mean to you?
What will you encourage him or her to do during your marriage?
How will you inspire him or her during your marriage?
What has he or she taught you?
What’s your favourite thing the two of you have done together?
How has he or she changed you for the better?
What do you miss about him or her when they aren’t around?
What obstacles have you overcome together?
What do you see in your future?
